Knitting for Stress Relief? Hardly

I have lots of trouble relaxing so a lady friend suggested I take up knitting. The repetition of the movements is supposed to be soothing and turn off your mind. So I signed up for a two-part knitting seminar.

Not only was I the only male, but the course was in a storefront so anyone walking past could see me knitting.

While the rest of the class all seemed to be in knitting heaven laughing and smiling and doing what God had intended to happen with giant needles and balls of wool, I was lost. No matter how slowly the instructor told me to twist my needles and yarn, I still couldn't follow. This was the opposite of relaxing.

I considered borrowing a scarf from one of the other knitters so I could hang myself.

But, every once in a while, I'd do the correct movement and it worked! I could feel my blood pressure dropping, my jaw unclenching. I was one stitch closer to creating my wool masterpiece--until the instructor came by, examined the yarn-y thing on my lap and yanked apart the dozens of stitches I'd done over the past half-hour. It was as if PETA was in the room making sure nothing from a sheep ever left the premises.

However, I did find one part of the course soothing. When I walked out of class and slam-dunked my bag of wool and knitting needles into a dumpster. Needless to say, I never went back for the second part of the course. But I now have a newfound respect for sweaters.

This entry last modified on: January 11, 2012 3:31 PM