Fun \ Funny Bones

Are You Afraid of Germs?

I'm not a handshake fanatic but when I see a friend I instinctively stick out my paw for a shake. Because it's the right thing to do.

But I have one friend who won't because he's afraid that germs are gonna leap from my hand to his, then seep into his palm like quicksand, scurry around until they hit a vein, then be transported throughout his body and before you know it he'll have the bubonic plague and need to make funeral arrangements.

Occasionally my friend WILL shake my hand then. Then IMMEDIATELY take out a bottle of hand-sanitizer from his pocket and squeeze a bunch of that clear liquid onto his palms.

First of all, seeing that hand-sanitizer come out makes me feel like a leper--like when I was nine and took a sip of my friend Billy's soda and he'd wipe the rim of the can with his shirt.

Another thing to consider is that there are ALREADY germs on the container of hand-sanitizer!

Unless you could shoot sanitizer out of your wrists like Spiderman's webs, you're still gonna get germs.

And if you have to disinfect your palms, do it when my back's turned. Because there is a fate worse than germs--no more friends.

This entry last modified on: January 11, 2012 3:29 PM